DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SEMINARS
Domestic Violence is one of three epidemics Across America.
Domestic Violence is considered by many to be one of the three
nationwide epidemics. The others are Obesity, and HIV/Aids and not
necessarily in that order. Sam has been on a mission for the past 10
years to combat domestic violence. He contributes to education,
awareness to create networking opportunities for organizations involved
directly with the public who are already impacted more than they
realize.
Sam will identify three primary first responders
to domestic violence. These responders are identified as; law
enforcement, prosecutors, judges, and not necessarily in that order.
Another First responder often overlooked is the general public. The
public may in fact be the first and only one to discover or have a
domestic violence incident reported to them. We must realize that
billions of dollars are lost every year due to medical expenses, lost
wages, loss of productivity in the work place by employers.
Sam has been a state and federally certified instructor
in Domestic Violence Training. He has a passion for helping victims of
domestic violence and he is on a mission to help first responders
understand their role and how important it really is. Domestic Violence
is quite misunderstood. It is a crime, and not a family matter and we
are all impacted. Let Sam help your organization public or private
recognize domestic violence and respond so we will all be safer.
SAM SLAY INTERVIEW BY DAVID WRIGHT OF INSIGHT BOOK PUBLISHING (Excerpted)
Wright
Sam, I know the title of this book
is Masters of Success and I think everything our authors think and
their combined experiences go into their being successful. I want to
get off the business topic for a moment and ask you a question. I know
that you believe family violence is a national epidemic. Will you speak
to that? Is there anything we can do about it? How bad is it?
Slay
Dr. Peter Sylvester (formerly) the director of the
Bay County Health Department told me in his opinion he believed there
are three different epidemics in the nation today. These are not in any
particular order but he said one of the epidemics was HIV/AIDS, another
is obesity, and another is domestic violence.
One of the problems that I see is the “blind-eye syndrome”—the public
turning a blind eye to family violence and the thought that it still
remains a family matter. It is an international as well as a national
concern. Police departments can’t be held accountable for what they
don’t know, but they certainly must be held accountable for what is
reported to them, what they respond to, and what they investigate.
We’ve got to do a better job. The job is not being done.
There are several first responders to domestic violence. They are:
- The general public — individuals who first witness or who are told about a violent situation
- Law enforcement
- State attorneys or district attorneys depending on your region of the country and judges
Overall we don’t do a very good job
there. We have the tools. Most states and the federal government have
placed tremendous laws on the books to be utilized as tools to protect
victims of domestic violence.
The next problem I see is the philosophy of understanding the dynamics
of a domestic violence situation. Beyond that, if we can accomplish
better response with first responders and create a greater
understanding of what’s really going on in the family unit, then and
only then can we effectively combat domestic violence.
We tend to think stranger-on-stranger violence is more terrible and
family violence is not nearly as bad. Yet we are a country greatly
impacted financially, emotionally, and certainly morally by what’s
going on in family violence.
Law
enforcement is supposed to remove the victim as far as necessary from
the prosecution. Now, does this mean that if you have a cooperative
victim, they shouldn’t be on the witness stand telling the story? No,
that’s not at all what I’m saying. More likely than not, through
threat, fear, intimidation, or maybe even love for that spouse, they go
to court and represent the other party or they try to have the charges
dropped. We have the laws on the books, we have the appropriate
philosophy, it’s just not being dealt with properly by first responders.
The minute a domestic violence occurs, we should gather all of the
evidence we can, because that’s as much evidence as we’re likely to
get, and then we should prosecute to the fullest extent of the law
without the victim being able to interrupt that process. The example I
use is a like that of a homicide victim. The victim there is certainly
not able to come to court and testify and so they are excluded from the
process because they’re deceased. In the domestic violence situation,
we should prosecute and we should do this based on the evidence.
You’re exactly right when you indicate we shouldn’t allow a victim who
can’t understand the emotional roller coaster and how to make this
stop. As an instructor I am able to explain what’s going on in this
environment and why victims don’t want to prosecute. But until people
understand, they will continue to think that if a victim wants to they
should be allowed to drop charges. This is not like the theft of a
piece of property like a John Deere tractor, this is different—it
involves an emotional bond and connection between the victim and the
offender. When people don’t understand this, I ask them, “How many of
you here in the room have made a bad decision based on emotion?” Of
course, they all raise their hands. Then I tell them, “Well, there you
are.” We’ve done things that we would look at now from a logical and
objective standpoint later and think, “I would never do that.” Yes you
would—under the right circumstances you would do the very same thing.